Assalammualaikum wr wb...

Thankfully, I had two hours of break from work today --> Department's welfare - Department Buffet Luncheon.

Finally, I managed to eat after three days! But my head is still throbbing badly.

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"We must accept finite disappointments, but never lose infinite hope"

I really feel insecure with my department head leaving. A lot of uncertainties. I have to take on new responsibilities, new portfolio, and a new officer coming in on Monday. Will this new officer be able to work? Will he be difficult? Will he be cooperative? Is he fine reporting to a female senior officer? So many questions but no answers.

How will the new department head be? Will he / she be as nice as my current head? Will the new head be easy to work with? Again, so many questions but no answers.

Currently, I have a very nice and lovable team. Will the new team be fine working with me? Will they like my working style / approach? Can we work as a team? What is their impression of me? Will they like me? Again and again, so many questions but no answers.

This is what I'm facing in my current working life. New challenges that never fail to allow me to discover myself, my potential and to improve on my weaknesses. The journey of self discovery is what I appreciate the most. Hopefully I can answer those questions soon.

Hope all will go well for me and my wonderful colleagues.

With regards to the rest, I'm still feeling horrible and terrible. My migraine is bad. Never felt this way before. I really got very weak immune system. How do I improve it? Take supplements? What supplements? Anyone care to recommend?

Has neen unwell since Monday evening. My head feels like bursting.

I'm thankful that I have a very strong threshold for pain / for feeling hurt. So far everyone in the office thinks I’m fine as per normal. But no one realizes that every time I felt like crying, I would step out of the office and into the ladies. Every time I went for my prayers, I would cry.

Letting go and moving on is never easy for me but I always manage to pull through some how. With great difficulty of course. Right now, I’m confused. Friends? Not friends? Strangers? Total cut off? What? I don’t know.

I am so out of focus right now. How long can this fake smile of mine lasts? How long can I go on with my fake laughter? I am not a good actress. One day the fake smile will fade and so will the fake laughter. I haven’t been in the best of moods lately. But I hope no one notices it.

With everything that is happening, I need a shoulder to cry on, to lead on and to hold on to. But..

Yes.. Only "BUT" is left behind for me to leave in the blanks.

Wassalammualaikum wr wb...